Health Watch

Thank God I'm FAT!!!!

THANK GOD I'M FAT, THANK GOD I'M FAT, THANK GOD I'M FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You think fat is ugly??? Check this out.

Napkins for Special Occasions

This cracked me up! Tell me you all didn't wonder about these when you were little!!



THE GOOD NAPKINS... ahhhhh... the joys of having Girls...

My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar.

I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake).


Now fast forward a few months.... It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone.

Mine was to set the table.

When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter.

Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.


"But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!!"

Isn't it easier to just tell the truth?! ????????



Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, Love truly and forgive quickly.

Beautiful Women Month

And all she wants to do is,

dance, dance, dance . . .


Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month?

Well, it is and that means you !!!

I'm supposed to send this to FIVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN,

and you are one of them !!!

Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote

when asked to share her "beauty tips."

It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips , speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes , seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure , share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair , let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise , walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...

People, even more than things, have to be restored,

renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;

never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,

you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands ;

one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.

If you share this with another woman,

something good will happen.
You will boost another woman's self esteem,

and she will know that you care about her.


It's BEAUTIFUL Women Month

TAG YOU'RE IT!

Dance On, Sister!!!

I will Never Complain about My Kids . . .

(THIS HAS BEEN EDITED TO REMOVE THE MOST OFFENSIVE, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT!)

REPEAT AFTER ME-
ONE THOUSAND MORE TIMES THAN SHOWN HERE:

I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...
I will never complain about MY kids again
I will never complain about MY kids again ..
I will never complain about MY kids again
I will never complain about MY kids again ...
I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...
I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...
I will never complain about M Y kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...

I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...



I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...

I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...

I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ...

Just for fun

HEMA is a Dutch department store chain. The first store opened on November 4, 1926, inAmsterdam . Now there are 150 stores all over the Netherlands . HEMA also has stores in Belgium, Luxemburg and Germany . Take a look at HEMA's product page. You can't order anything and it's in Dutch but just wait a couple of seconds and watch what happens...once it starts, just let it go, and don't use your mouse.

News Flash! Best Sleeping Positions

Also in a fwd today, one that is a bit dated but just as relevant as it was when it first made it's rounds:

Subject: ORANGE COUNTY ( CALIFORNIA ) NEWSPAPER

This is a very good letter to the editor. This woman made some good points. For some reason, people have difficulty structuring their arguments when arguing against supporting the currently proposed immigration revisions. This lady made the argument pretty simple. NOT printed in the Orange County Paper...................Newspapers simply won't publish letters to the editor which they either deem politically incorrect (read below) or which does not agree with the philosophy they're pushing on the public. This woman wrote a great letter to the editor that should have been published; but, with your help it will get published via cyberspace

New ImmigrantsFrom: 'David LaBonte'

My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of the OC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to 'print' it myself by sending it out on the Internet. Pass it along if you feel so inclined.Dave LaBonte (signed)Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in the Orange County Register:

Dear Editor:

So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry.

Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer.

Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States , people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.

They had waved good bye to their birth place to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture.Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity. Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought along side men whose parents had come straight over from Germany , Italy , France and Japan . None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from. They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan. They were defending the United States of America as one people. When we liberated France , no one in those villages were looking for the French-American or the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up another country's flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here. These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl.

And here we are in 2006 with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it by playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American is all about. I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900's deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life . I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags.

And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty, it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.

(signed) Rosemary LaBonte

Identifying with your family

An elderly couple was sitting together, watching their favourite Saturday night TV program. During one of those commercial breaks, the husband asked his wife: "Whatever happened to our sexual relations?" After a long thoughtful silence, the wife, during the next commercial break, replied: "You know, I don't really know -- I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year."